20 years ago today, I was the size of an elephant… Now I know that all woman say this, but I truly was a giant round ball with limbs sticking out. Like the drawings young children do when they first learn to draw people. A big fat circle with sticks sticking out for limbs. I looked like that in real life. True story! Come to find out the baby inside this 5 foot little torso wouldn’t make her appearance until she was 8 pounds 2 ounces. She was a big baby for this little body. Anyway, I was miserable to say the least and the summer was so hot! If I could go back to myself that day, what would I tell myself as a new mom? It would be the most cliche thing in the world. It is what we are always told, but don’t truly understand until we experience it ourselves. It would be CHERISH EVERY MOMENT BECAUSE IT GOES BY SO FAST!! When I tell you that I can not believe I am the mom to a 20 year old (in three days) I mean it to my very core. My days of daily motherhood duties are hanging by a thread. I have moved from the person who provides all her needs, to a friend who mostly provides emotional needs. In just a few short weeks, I will move her into her first apartment. And I know that there is a small chance, she will never live under our roof again. She will become a visitor instead of a resident and that is a hard pill to swallow. Now, let me clear, this will ALWAYS be a place she can call home. ALWAYS! But realistically, this chapter is coming to a close. While I look forward to many new exiting chapters, college graduation, first jobs in her career, a wedding, grandbabies and so on, I can mourn the end of this chapter. Becoming a mom is the greatest gift I have ever been given. I am so proud of what my 20 year old has become and will continue to be. She is beautiful inside and out. But for the next few days, I will mourn the end of her childhood and accept the fact that I have a 20 year old. I pray fiercely that she becomes a woman of God and for His protection over her in the years to come. I pray that when she experiences heartache and disappoint that she will turn to Him for her healing and comfort. I pray that when she succeeds and has celebrations that she thanks the Lord and Saviour for His blessings upon her. And I pray for my mama heart who will never stop being a mama. And lastly I will pray this verse, our verse, over her life and mine as I figure out my role in hers. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God”
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